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Friday, 14 February, 2003, 21:13 GMT
Is Valentine's Day harmless fun?
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Legend has it that Valentine's Day originates from St Valentine, a Roman who was martyred for refusing to give up Christianity.
He died on 14 February, 269 A.D., the same day that had been devoted to love lotteries, and he left a farewell note for the jailer's daughter signed "From Your Valentine". Whatever the origins of Valentine's Day, February 14th has become far more than a day for exchanging love messages. It has turned into a multi-million dollar industry, with an overwhelming number of cards, presents and even holidays being sold the world over to celebrate it. While many feel this is a harmless bit of fun, others find it an abhorrent craze, or worse still, a plot by multinationals to impose Western culture elsewhere and increase their sales. So is Valentine's day something we should find morally repugnant? Or should we lighten up and enjoy the fun? This debate is now closed. Read a selection of your comments below.
Your reaction
Valentines day is the one day when people who aren't particularly romantic get the chance to be so without feeling self-conscious about it. If you don't need it, fine, but some people do.
Veronica, USA
Valentine's Day is the lamest holiday of the year. Why do I need a day set aside to be told I am loved, showered with gifts, cards, candy and other things when there are 364 other perfectly good days of the year to be told I am loved? Why does the world have to stop on this day of love for love? Frankly, Valentine's Day could vanish forever and I would be happy.
I haven't been in couplehood for over ten years, but, if I was, I'd skip it. Being alone for as long as I have, I've noticed that society has a tendency to marginalise those of us who are unattached. That alone wouldn't be such a problem for me if it weren't for the selfish attitude of many in couples. I've known many that cut off contact with their single friends to a point of indifference or, worse yet, estrangement. Valentine's Day for me has become a day to celebrate and show off that kind of "I got mine" attitude. I haven't met that special someone yet, but when she gets here, I hope there's a way I can get her to agree that birthdays and anniversaries are far more important.
In all my years of marriage I have received flowers on Valentine's Day exactly once, from a waiter at a restaurant. So what commercialism is it that I am supposed to find morally repugnant?
I like Valentine's Day because it really does feel like a day that's just for me and my honey. Whatever the rest of the world is doing just doesn't seem to matter.
Jessica, USA I don't need a card or overpriced flowers from my partner to know that he loves me. However, the Robbie Williams CD would help a lot!
Valentine's Day is a fictional event created by a card manufacturer to sell more cards in a slow quarter of the financial year. It's a farce really, but give people a reason to celebrate and they jump in with both feet. If it's good for you, enjoy it.
I am personally looking forward to Valentine's Day, but I don't think that my postman is!
I think Valentines' Day is just like any other day really. Mind you I haven't exactly been an expert when it comes to women and love!
I never really enjoyed Valentine's Day when single, but do enjoy it now I'm married. We're planning to stay in and cook ourselves our favourite meal (we usually cook as a team anyway). I don't like all the commercialization and never buy expensive cards etc. Handmade cards/gifts always go down best in our household, though we rarely get the time.
Of course Valentine's Day is a commercial event. How else do you explain people all around the world celebrating the Western connotation of what love and romance really are? And really, shouldn't we celebrate the love in our lives every day?
Marlene Curtis, USA
Valentine's Day is as commercialized as you let it be in your life. Some of the best Valentine's Day ideas cost as much as a few sheets of paper or a few pieces of candy. A true show of love comes from the heart, not the wallet. Go make your loved ones a card by hand, or bake them some cookies yourself, or stay up late and give them a back rub. And don't forget that kiss in the morning! Pretty inexpensive in my mind, but invaluable in terms of love.
What a waste of cash, good for flower sellers though and chocolate retailers. Who cares? If you love someone, tell them, show them NOW. No time like the present. Waiting for some day that was labelled Valentines Day just conforms to some silly old tradition.
My partner and me never wait for Valentine's Day to show our love and affection to each other, caring about each other should be a part of our daily life. We don't need to waste money in expensive restaurants or gifts to enjoy our love but we really enjoy it by bringing joy and happiness in the life of each other in a very modest way. I don't agree with people who say "it costs money to show love to your partner" cause love has no price.
Have you heard the new nickname for Valentines Day? SAD - Singles Awareness Day.
Love is love and always has a powerful and positive effect.
We should celebrate it and enjoy it.
The present commercialisation of 14 February was started by an American card salesman to fill the gap between Christmas and Easter. I would love to be able to ignore it but I couldn't stand the grief I would get from my wife.
Amanda, UK
There's just no escaping from it, and it's particularly hard on single people, as it just seems everyone else is part of a couple. It only makes many people feel isolated and alone, people that normally are quite content to be doing their own thing and having fun with friends. For me, Valentine's Day simply heightens all feelings of personal insecurity, and makes me miserable.
Valentine's Day should be focussed on those among us who are single by providing an opportunity for people to make the first move in an otherwise intimidating world. It should not be about smug couples. Valentine's Day should be for the single people, to show them that there are plenty of other single people out there, who don't purport to suggest that being single is all they ever wanted in life, but do demand a large party the world over!
There is nothing even remotely romantic about Valentine's Day. Romance should be a spontaneous thing. A surprise gift, even if it's only a packet of sweets from the paper shop, is a far more romantic gesture than anything bought specifically for Valentine's Day.
Alex Holdsworth, UK
Valentine's Day is a great day especially here in Japan where the message is somewhat back to front and it's the girls who give chocolates to the boys. Wonder what the girls in the office will get?
Behind every marketing success there is a story such as the one that tells us how this all started in 269 AD. Of course there were no chocolates, cards, and see-throughs available then for the poor man to leave for the jailer's daughter.
Fast forward to today and it is yet another in a long line of business hype that includes mother's day, father's day, secretary's day (now I'm sure there are some men who celebrate this daily) and so forth.
B Jones, UK
If you haven't got a partner, send one to your Mum or Dad, of some other alternative LOVE outlet! Love shown on any day, in any positive way can only be good for us all. Happy Valentine's Day world, this world needs more love and happiness.
I am totally bemused when one labels Valentine's Day to be a part of the "Western culture." What is this "Western culture"? Are we suggesting that Australia, Austria, France, Germany, Greece, Italy, Russia, Yugoslavia, Spain, Turkey, UK, and the US, for example, have the same culture?
What's the point in celebrating love just for one day out of 365 days and showing your love through material things? How many of those giving out chocolates and flowers truly love each other? It's just that we all are blindly following the rules set by money people, without knowing exactly!!!
It should be banned; I get into serious trouble with my wife every year, over the shed loads of Valentine cards that pour into my letter-box.
Chris Fincham, UK
I loved Valentine's Day when I was happily married, but now that I'm divorced and on my own, I think it's a load of over-hyped rubbish!! Mind you, if I got just one soppy card, I'd probably change my mind all over again...!
Why devote only one day for LOVE?
Why not make every day Valentine's day?
Because of much commercialisation, kids and youngsters are drawn towards it as a fashion rather as a pure festival. The local festivities are overshadowed by the invasion and if the trend continues, our cultural existence could go on the brink of extinction.
Why do the Americans show their feelings to their loved ones on specific days like mothers day, fathers day, etc and now Valentine's Day.
February 14 is a big rip-off. I refuse to go to any restaurant on Valentine's Day, simply because the prices are increased, the service is appalling and the so-called happy couples are crammed in so there's barely space to get between the tables. I do take the opportunity to do something special for my wife, but something that doesn't involve lemming-like pursuit of what an advertising company says I should be doing. Pink champagne seems to be one thing that doesn't double in price purely because of the date.
There is no celebration of Valentine's Day or something like that in Islam and such kind of celebrations are strictly prohibited in Islam.
Juan Pedro, Spain
I think Valentine's Day is a good chance for shy men.
I think that you shouldn't have to buy a card or gift just to show someone that you love them, a simple gesture is more than enough. Love should be offered every day and not measured by how much money you have spent.
Mother's Day, and Father's Day were both created to boost the sales of card and gift manufacturers. Halloween is being promoted in more countries for the same type of reason. Ask yourself this, "Who advertises these days and what do they do it for?"
It's simply depressing for singletons like me!
Personally I'd like to send a card to AJR, UK (see above). At least it will be appreciated!
For the rest of you, any opportunity to spend quality time with your partner is no bad thing, surely?
I think it should be used as a day to renew our love for one another, love that may have grown dim over the past year or so. And yes, it costs money to show that love, but if the effort is appreciated by the one you love, it'll be worth it!
Igonikon Jack, USA
I went into a card shop recently and was faced with a row of cards reading 'To My Mum on Valentine's Day' 'From the Cat on Valentine's Day' and other such ideas just to make more money. Valentine's Day should be about spending time with loved ones and being grateful for what you have. Not about feeling obliged to spend money.
KJ, USA
Well, I guess it's like Christmas and Easter... if you enjoy being brainwashed into buying a load of tat that you don't really want, to give to someone who also doesn't really want it, in some vain attempt to quell your guilt-trip and demonstrate to someone that you care about them... then I suppose it's fun.
I think Valentine's should be celebrated in any way that feels fit to the couple. After all isn't it good to show affection to your partner?
All big days, like Christmas or Easter are commercialised, and so is Valentine's Day. But we shouldn't ignore the message. If there is one word that describes the Valentine's Day's message, it is LOVE. And LOVE is never harmful!
In my personal opinion, Valentine's Day is a big show-off. After all every day is Valentine's day if you find true love.
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11 Feb 03 | South Asia
14 Feb 02 | South Asia
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