Beckham's cutting edge

By Chris Charles BBC Sport

Never mind Manchester United, has anyone stopped to consider what effect David Beckham's gashed eye is going to have on the kids?

Everyone's going to want one.

Raging Ferguson 'injures Beckham'

Anyone walking in to school on Tuesday morning without at least half their face hanging off is going to be sent to Coventry quicker than Gary McAllister.

In the good old days, walking into the barbers and asking for a "Beckham" would have seen you transformed into the lovechild of Rod Stewart and Pauline Fowler.

Ooh, have you had a Beckham, Pauline?

Now your local neighbourhood Sweeney Todd will be sharpening his razor with a glint in his eye as he prepares to go to war with your eyebrow.

And don't feel sorry for Beckham during this whole silly saga.

Photos from Beckham's rows with Ferguson

Once the pain has died down and the stitches removed, he'll come out of this very nicely thank you.

There's the multi-million pound sponsorship deal with Band-aid for a start. "Mend it like Beckham", you can see it now.

And what about the Beckham action man, with eagle eyes and genuine scar? Throw in a Fergie doll and a football boot and you've got this year's number one Christmas toy.

Woolly

Let's be honest, Becks has probably been secretly craving a designer gangster scar to go with the shades and the trench coat.

He certainly made no attempt to hide the wound when he left for training on Monday.

And we are talking about the man who wears a woolly hat all year round - surely more than pure coincidence that he opts to go without on one of the coldest mornings of the year.

Finally we have the issue of one upmanship with the missus.

Knocked off the top - again

The news that the Spice Girls were meeting up for tea and cakes at Beckingham Palace looked to have finally seen Victoria back in pole position.

Now she has been cruelly knocked off the front pages by The Cut.

It could almost have been a publicity stunt dreamed up by the Beckham camp.

Either way, Fergie won't lose any sleep.

In fact he'll probably be looking to get a copy of the incident on video - so he can teach Ryan Giggs how to shoot straight.